Beta male in dating world

Alpha males, the Don Drapers and Gordon Gekkos, are a centuries-old phenomenon; whereas the Alpha female – who, crucially, embraces her Alpha status – is a relatively new breed, typified by intelligent, self-assured women at the top of their profession: think Angelina Jolie, Anna Wintour and Angela Merkel.

beta male in dating world-5

“They just need to start looking past the competitive, domineering Alpha male.” Designed to appeal to the generation exhorted to “lean in” by Facebook’s chief operating officer Sandberg, the book promises to “dispel the myth that being a successful professional woman dooms your chances of a relationship and family”.

Opening with a quiz to determine whether you are Alpha or Beta (and, the author insists, most people are a combination), it challenges perceptions about these two personality types, provides guides on dating outside your comfort zone and offers advice on working through relationship problems and affairs.

Isn’t she just encouraging high-achieving women to marry beneath them?

“I’m saying that you don’t have to put yourself in a gender box,” says Dr Rhodes.

Rather, she warns of another group of “Omega” men – dreamers, allergic to work, needy – whom empowered women should avoid at all cost.

“None of you should have to be your boyfriend’s caretaker,” insists Dr Rhodes. Indeed, it goes against a recent study of American census data by the National Bureau of Economic Research, which found a marked rise in “like marrying like”, with 48 per cent of graduates wedding graduates in 2005, up from 25 per cent in 1960.As the singer Alanis Morissette puts it: “Alpha men are very turned on by the Alpha woman – really high chemistry, really fun to work with, probably really fun to have affairs with.But there can only be one person in the driver’s seat.” All hope is not lost, however: a new book raising eyebrows in the US offers a controversial solution.The problem with such labels is that they are often stereotyped.Alpha females are seen as bitches; Alpha males as Lamborghini-driving James Bonds, while their Beta counterparts are weak, lily-livered wimps. Alpha women don’t have to be career women (“You might be the head of the PTA, a genius at connecting people or the organiser of a group for new mums”); nor are Beta men the type you have to settle for.“They were worried that they would have to settle for someone. In the US, women between 30 and 45 are getting married at a higher rate than women in any other age group.

Tags: , ,